Bad night...

I better start a few months back so that this story is easier to explain. My husband "J", has 1 brother "M". Neither one have had any children so my in-laws have yet to experience grandchildren. When we told them we were expecting in May, they were ecstatic! Well, to say the least, it was a huge disappointment for everyone when we lost the baby... Now, his brother just got married about a month or 2 ago. We knew they both wanted kids and were planning on starting as soon as they got married. But I figured it would take awhile before it actually happened.

I got home last night and J asked me if I was in a good mood. That's never a good question. I asked why and his response was "I don't wanna put you in a bad mood if you're in a good one right now". As soon as he said that I knew. My response was not good. I'm a little ashamed but it was somewhere along the lines of "that's messed up". Just not so nice... I tried not to think about it but I couldn't help it. So, I finally just decided to go for a drive. A long drive... I had a talk with God and somehow ended up at the lake about 45 min away from our house. And on the way back I stopped by my parent's house since I was in the area. My mom has a way of making me feel better no matter what is wrong. I'm a 27 year old adult and I can still admit that I need my mom....

I felt so guilty about how I was feeling but I really wanted to be able to give my in-laws their first grand child. When I told my mom, she said "well hun, you kinda did." And she's right. Even though we don't have our baby, it doesn't mean that we never did...

I'm very happy for them so please don't think I'm a selfish person for feeling the way I did. I guess maybe it just hit me at a bad time. But today has been much better. I'm so thankful for my family and great friends that always seem to know exactly what to say to make things better.

On a side note, I'm very glad that today is Wednesday and almost over! I'm ready for a couple days of no work...